Ready, or not?

            Planning my trip to South America has brought me excitement in its most genuine form. I get butterflies every time I think of embarking on my adventure to a continent I have always wanted to explore.

            First on my travel agenda is to complete two months of volunteering with Greenheart Travel in a facility for disabled children who have been abandoned or abused. I will fly into Lima, Peru and stay in a hostel overnight. The following day I will take a bus to Cuzco and be picked up by volunteer coordinators to continue on to Urubamba.

            Volunteering at this facility is undoubtedly what I look forward to the most. I visited seven countries in Europe on a three-week backpacking trip with a couple of girlfriends in 2009. While it was an amazing experience to see the historical sites of Europe, I will never do a whirlwind tourist trip again. I felt I had completely missed out on local flavor and culture. When I look back on it, I am appalled with the total lack of interaction with local people. So, while going about planning my trip through South America I knew contributing to a humanitarian effort would be a priority.

            After my stay as a Greenheart volunteer, I have a few weeks open to nomadic, spur-of-the-moment, type of traveling. At the end of May I will go to Chile to study with USAC with the University of Nevada, Reno. Upon completion in the end of June, I again plan to hit the road and travel around Chile and possibly Argentina or Ecuador.

            This is the plan. It is completely subject to change but I feel reassured to write it down. (I did that brief outline as much for other readers as I did for myself).

           

            Last night for the first time I sensed a darker emotion hiding within my excitement. I think the butterflies are becoming restless to leave, as am I. As I sat in bed going over the details of packing and getting everything at home in order, I suddenly felt something similar to panic. The voices of all the skeptics I had encountered during my preparation time at home began ringing in my head. I often got funny looks from people as I told them my intent to travel around South America. I would witness the creases in their foreheads deepen into dark valleys as their brows sunk into a disapproving frown while they listened to my plans. “You are traveling alone? As a young woman?? Through South America??? Without a strict agenda?!??” I would hide my frustration for their unsupportive statements and politely smile as I assured them I was exercising a good amount of caution while preparing for this journey (and no, I am not just saying that because I know my mother will read this).

            But now that reality has hit, my confidence that I paraded around has temporarily surrendered to the domineering emotion of fear. I tossed around thinking about all of the research I still wanted to complete before leaving, about the logistics of traveling after my stay at the volunteer house with Greenheart, about the unforeseen obstacles that would surely emerge. I tried to push the obtrusive thoughts aside as the hours went by and the faint color of morning peered through the gap in my curtains. But something inside of me snapped and I jerked to an upright position and thought, “Oh my god. I am traveling to South America, alone, as a young woman, without a strict itinerary!” 

            I focused on breathing and felt better after a few minutes. For other first-time solo travelers, be prepared for this kind of moment—a moment when you lose faith in your capabilities as a person. Do not panic, that faith will come back if you let it.

            I then read a few passages from the book by Rolf Potts called “Vagabonding; an Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel.” I recommend every traveler to read this book before their bon voyage—especially if it is your first solo expedition. It is a wonderfully written guide on how to travel by living abroad without an itinerary rather than visiting abroad as a tourist. Even if you don’t want to take all of Potts’ tips or disagree with his ideology of travel, this book is extremely motivating and will at least spark your desire to seek an adventure.

            Potts advice for preparation for travel was especially helpful with putting my mind at ease that night. He wrote, “The goal of preparation is not knowing exactly where you’ll go but being confident nonetheless that you’ll get there. This means that your attitude will be more important than your itinerary, and that the simply willingness to improvise is more vital, in the long run, than research.”

            Today, exactly two weeks from my departure, on a scale from one to meltdown I would say my sense of panic has simmered to the equivalent of a caffeinated jitter.